Friday, December 13, 2013

Quick Cut Review - "Grown Ups 2"

Directed by:  Shane Carruth
Starring: Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Chris Rock, David Spade and Rob Schneider
Rated: PG-13
Runtime: 1 hour 41 minutes  
Release Date: July 12, 2013

Within the first minute of Grown Ups 2, there are two people pissed on by a deer inside their home. This folks, marks the highpoint of the humor to be found in this poor excuse for a film about a group of friends getting together, filmming it and getting paid for it. The first film wasn't very good, but in comparison to the vast creative laziness on display here, that first film is a near masterpiece of goofy comedy.

While the story of the first film, a group of friends getting together for a weekend and hanging out while hi jinks ensue, is uninspired at best, at least it was some form of a narrative. This time out the gate though there is little to nothing stringing the number of events and cameo appearances together besides watching Adam Sandler, Chris Rock, Kevin James and David Spade ( no Rob Schneider this time though, as he was replaced by Nick Swardson, yet another Sandler groupie) stumble around this stereotypical small town filled with all sorts of random weirdness, none of which is ever funny.

The film functions solely as a reason to get all of Sandler's buddies together and dupe unsuspecting audiences into forking over their hard earned cash to watch Sandler and his crew flip us all a giant middle finger as he walks into the nearest bank and cashes his check. Running jokes such as Swardson being beat up in all different manners or the appearance of Shaquielle O'Neal as a police officer who just wants to party and be bathed by the local car wash girls aren't funny. They are insulting and never once have any sort of relevance beyond just being whatever they came up on set with that day (I refuse to believe this film had a script).

Then there is what is supposedly the over arcing story or message of the film, which is that Sandler and his buddies are that means they must get picked on by the young kids, led by Taylor Lautner who appears to be having problems growing a big boy beard and stache. In the trailer and even in the film itself, this conflict appears to be just another poor attempt at a very old and dry joke done a hundred times over and a thousand times better by much more talented people, but the jokes on us as we discover that this is in fact the story of the film. Later when Lautner and his gang of teenagers attack Sandler's party (where he is involved in a fight with Steve Austin...and wins), the film just stops and drops all pretenses of trying to be a real movie and devolves even further into pointlessness.

The cherry on top of all this shoveled crap being passed off as real cinema is when the final moment of the film occurs, the breakthrough that Sandler's character has been trying to achieve the entire time finally happens when he successfully farts, sneezes and belches at the same time. The final shot we are left with is Sandler and is movie family laughing their asses off at how amazing it is that once again they somehow conned enough people into seeing this trash and likely proceed to count their money as the end credits roll. This is one of those rare moments where I am not so upset at Sandler for making such trash as I am at all of those people out there that make such stuff profitable for the man. Until we stop funding his little party, this will never end.


If you want to see how to make a real movie with a group of talented actors who also happen to be good friends, then see This Is The End. It is everything this movie never could be and in comparison makes Sandler's little venture even that much more insulting when one realizes his brand of comedy somehow makes more money than a legitimately well made and fine piece of entertainment as that. This final thought is going beyond just this film, avoid all of Sandler's other projects all together, boycott him, even his rare decent films. If Rob Schneider is smart enough to stay away from this thing, you should too. This madness must end and you are on the front lines of this war. Our future rests in your hands, don't let us down.


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