DO NOT READ THIS POST UNLESS YOU ARE OK WITH WHAT I CONSIDER TO BE A FAIRLY SIGNIFICANT SPOILER FOR THE UPCOMING FILM STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS
CLICK PAST THE BREAK IF YOU SO DARE...
Once upon a time there was a Star Wars fan in 1999 who was only weeks away from the release of Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace when through no fault of their own they had a rather large part of the film spoiled for them. This isn't because of some trailer that showed us too much or someone who saw the film early blabbing about all it's secrets. No, this was just a fan who was curious about what he believed to be the next holy grail of movie soundtracks, the new Star Wars score by John Williams. Upon entering the music store (back when that was still a thing) he picked up the newly released soundtrack and proceeded to look over the track listing. Much to his surprise however there were two tracks that stood out from the rest. Not because it was a cool name or signified a cool sequence in the film, but because it flat out told him that a major character would die at the end of the film. Strike one.
|Did they really need to name the track "Qui-Gon's Funeral"?|
Fast forward 3 years later to 2002 and we are now on the cusp of Star Wars Episode 2: The Clone Wars being released. Knowing what happened last time he made a concerted effort to avoid anything having to do with the film. After seeing only the initial trailer he proceeded to be on the lookout for any potential spoilers from anywhere that could give away any sort of crucial plot point. However his efforts were in vain as this time he was thwarted by one of the most unassuming sources of spoilers (back in 2002 anyway), the toyline. While at work one day a fellow coworker and Star Wars fan came into possession of the new Anakin Skywalker action figure. Proud of his purchase he went ahead and began to display the figure prominently and in doing so showed the fan that a certain appendage could be removed from the figure. Strike two.
|Who exactly thought it was a good idea to release this before the movie came out?|
Now almost a decade and a half later this same fan has been given a new chance to avoid any potential spoilers. Staying far away from soundtracks and action figures along with all the usual sources such as TV spots and internet gossip, he has done an admirable job keeping a good distance between himself and all potential spoiler sources. But once gain his efforts were in vain as just the simple act of watching a television show proved to be his undoing. During a commercial break a Duracell ad started which featured, for no real apparent reason, a number of kids dressed up as the new characters from the Force Awakens. Not a big deal right? Well, speculation has run rampant as to the part these characters will play since J.J. Abrams has done such a good job keeping the film's plot under wraps. What is this catastrophic reveal you ask? I would normally say just watch the commercial but for the sake of clarity I will just spell it out for you.
|You aren't trusted anymore Duracell.|
In the commercial we see a boy get a toy lightsaber which prompts him to dig into a new package of Duracell batteries. He plugs them in and all of a sudden he is being chased by storm troopers, Imperial walkers, tie fighters and all kinds of craziness. So far so good and nothing really all that spoilerish. Then it happens, he steps outside to rescue his sister who is clearly dressed up as Rey (Daisy Ridley's character from the film) and being escorted away by two storm troopers. She then proceeds to attack both troopers which can only be explained as using force powers. It has been highly speculated as to the role Rey will play in the film and this all but confirms it, she is in fact a Jedi. After all the hard work by Abrams and company to keep the plot a secret, even going so far as to never include it in any of the three trailers for the film, all it took was a single Duracell battery commercial to destroy it all. Strike three, I'm out.
|As you can clearly see, that is Rey using force powers...sigh.|
Before you start to cry fowl about being a big baby about these spoilers let me just say state my case as to why this sucks. When I watch a film I tend to have a near photographic memory in regards to anything footage I have seen beforehand. So it is always appreciated when filmmakers go that extra mile to keep scenes out of trailers or marketing that outright spoil the film. When I have something spelled out for me, such as a major character's death, an amputated arm or in this case the identity of the main character I will sit there and subconsciously be looking and waiting for that to happen. In the case of the amputated arm I literally sat there the entire movie waiting for it to happen and the fact that it didn't happen until the last 10 minutes of the movie made it even more annoying. So having something like this spoiled is a real bummer because all I want to do is sit there and enjoy the film. Now I will be sitting there for what will likely be an hour of so waiting for the reveal of Rey's powers while the film beats around the bush about it.
For those brave enough to watch the trailer for yourself I am embedding it below but I highly suggest just skipping it and try your best to avoid any and all Star Wars related marketing until you see the film so that you may go into that theater on December 18th with as clean a slate as possible. May the force be with all of us.