"The Lifeguard" Review: You Won't Learn Much About Lifeguards, But It Has Plenty To Say About Life

Life is hard and many of the decisions we make don't always lead us to a place of happiness. Not all films are meant to make us feel happy or gleeful either. Sometimes they provide a glimpse into the darker side of life, the side where we don't always make the best decisions, but learn from our mistakes.

The Lifeguard is just such a film, where the main character is childish, reckless and damaged in all the ways that make each and every one of us flawed and genuinely human. It may not paint the best picture of an adult having a mid-life crisis, but it certainly is a real one. Read the full review after the break.

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Europa Report - Digital Download Review

Theatrical Release Date: August 2, 2013

'Europa Report' is science fiction at its most compelling.

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Only God Forgives - Digital Download Review

Theatrical Release Date: July 19, 2013

'Only God Forgives' is a pretentious exercise in violent senselessness.

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Rapture-Palooza - Digital Download Review

Theatrical Release Date: June 7, 2013

'Rapture-Palooza' will leave you smirking in the face of the apocalypse.

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Upside Down - Digital Download Review

Theatrical Release Date: March 15, 2013

'Upside Down' is your typical love story that sadly can't match the beauty of its visually impressive world.

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Aftershock - Digital Download Review

Theatrical Release Date: May 10, 2013

'Aftershock' barely registers a tremor on the richter scale with it's disaster/horror movie mash up. 

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Moonrise Kingdom - Digital Download Review

Theatrical Release Date: May 25, 2012

"Moonrise Kingdom" succumbs to the tired and oh so predictable formula of its director.

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Piranha 3DD - Digital Download Review

PIRANHA 3DD

Theatrical Release Date: June 1, 2012

Yep, this is another Piranha movie and it features boobies in 3D (as if you couldn't already tell by that title...). That's what you want right? Horribly rendered CG killer fish biting girls boobies off? Well, I have some bad news for you then because Piranha 3DD has beaten the odds by taking my already lowered expectations for it and crushing them by producing one of the worst attempts at campy humor I have ever seen.

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God Bless America - Digital Download Review

GOD BLESS AMERICA

Theatrical Release Date: May 11, 2012

Movies with a blatant message attached to them aren't usually very good. They are often weighed down by a need to get that message across at the cost of good story telling and character development. God Bless America is yet another in a long line of cinematic victims to succumb to that dangerous pitfall.

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The Dead - Digtial Download Review

THE DEAD

Theatrical Release Date: October 7, 2011

In this day and age it takes a whole lot to make your zombie movie to stand out from the bunch. Who knew that going all the way back to the roots of the genre would yield such a refreshing result to help remind us how the undead used to creep us out.

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Detachment - Digital Download Review

DETACHMENT

Theatrical Release Date: March 16, 2012

Is there really anything more we can learn from yet another movie trying to dissect our problems with the American education system? Apparently someone thought so and because of that we now have Detachment, a film that attempts to take a different approach to some well worn material.

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Tim & Eric's Billion Dollar Movie - Digital Download Review

TIM & ERIC'S BILLION DOLLAR MOVIE

Theatrical Release Date: March 2, 2012

Well...........you see, uh............I wasn't...........(heavy sigh), I really don't know what to say here. I haven't really ever come across a movie that has had me this mixed up in a long time. Just to clarify though, that isn't a good thing in this case.

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Perfect Sense - Digital Download Review

PERFECT SENSE

Theatrical Release Date: February 3, 2012

With me being such a huge fan of both Eva Green and Ewan McGregor it was almost certain that I would love the performances but did I really want to see them in what appeared to be a very melancholy romance flick? Thankfully this movie is so much more than that and something that keeps getting better the more I think about it.

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Outrage - Digital Download Review

OUTRAGE

Theatrical Release Date: December 2, 2011

Do you like mob movies? Do you like violence? Do you like a lot of violence? Then Outrage is the movie for you but be warned. This is probably one of the most no frills mob style movies I have ever seen and with that comes a whole lot of over the top violent acts that serve only one purpose...to make you squirm with glee.

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Tucker & Dale Vs. Evil - Digital Download Review

TUCKER AND DALE VS. EVIL

Tucker & Dale vs Evil (Pre-Theatrical Rental) Amazon Price $9.99

Theatrical Release Date: September 30, 2011

It has been a long time since I saw something that took a well established movie genre and turned it on its head. Shaun of the Dead did it almost seven years ago (has it really been that long?) and nothing else has ever really came close to that classic since...until now that is.

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Hobo With A Shotgun - Digital Download Review

HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN

Hobo With A Shotgun (Theatrical Rental) Amazon Price $6.99

Theatrical Release Date: May 6, 2011

All I knew about this movie before renting it was that Rutger Hauer plays a Hobo that wonders into a town overrun with crime and decides to put a stop to it all using his trusty shotgun and that is exactly what I got. Hobo with a Shotgun is one of the very few films out there that delivers on all its promises and regardless of how minuscule those promises might have been I can't help but love it for sticking to its guns.

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Super - Digital Download Review

SUPER

Theatrical Release Date: April 1, 2011

With the super hero genre becoming so overstuffed anymore it is inevitable that we start to get entries that tackle the subject from different angles. While Super isn't the first independent film to treat the world of super heroes in a realistic manner it is without a doubt the craziest movie dealing with masked vigilantes that I have ever seen.

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Rubber - Digital Download Review

Rubber (Amazon Pre-Theatrical Rental) - $9.99

Rubber (Zune Pre-Theatrical Rental) - $15.00

Theatrical Release Date: April 1, 2011

What if David Lynch made Attack of the Killer Tomatoes? Think about that for a second...what if one of the most off the charts strange and well regarded directors of our time helmed one of the weirdest and sublimely simple horror comedies of all time? The answer to that question can be summed up with one simple word...Rubber.

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The Next Three Days - Home Video Review

Theatrical Release Date: November 19, 2010

I am gonna be as up front as possible here so that there are no misunderstandings. I "used" to be a big fan of Russell Crowe and I have only recently discovered my dislike of just about everything writer/director Paul Haggis has been involved with. So why did I decide to watch their new collaborative effort then? Because I believe in giving people a fair chance for making up for mistakes in their past. I believe in atonement, the idea that someone can once again or maybe for the first time make something worthwhile. The Next Three Days was proof positive that I am one of the biggest idiots out there for believing in those ideals.

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The Expendables - Home Video Review

Release Date: August 13, 2010

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