Thursday, July 18, 2013

Killers - QC Review

Directed byRobert Luketic
Starring:  Ashton Kutcher, Katherine Heigl, Tom Selleck and Catherine O'Hara
Rated: PG-13 

Runtime: 1 hour 40 minutes  
Release Date: June 4, 2010

This could be one of the most ill-conceived and poorly executed action/romance/comedies ever made. Featuring two lead actors who share zero chemistry with one another, a series of limp action scenes and quite possibly one of the most telegraphed and underwhelming conclusions in recent memory, there is a reason this movie was forgotten the moment it was released.

Ashton Kutcher hasn't had much luck on the big screen. With mainly duds attached to his resume, such as Guess Who and What Happens In Vegas in the romance/comedy category,  The Guardian and The Butterfly Effect in the drama/thriller category and not one, but TWO horrid ensemble films with Valentine's Day and New Year's Eve (can't wait for the follow ups, St. Patrick's Day and Christmas Day). As a matter of fact, his most successful film thus far has been Dude Where's My Car...and that's just kind of sad.

Katherine Heigl doesn't have much to brag about either. 27 Dresses, The Ugly Truth, One for the Money and joining her co-star in New Year's Eve, but no V-Day movie (perhaps she doesn't celebrate that holiday?), the only reason her resume isn't littered with more failures is because she (thankfully) hasn't made that many movies. The only good film she has ever been in, Knocked Up, just so happens to be the one film she has publicly criticized?! How exactly does that work again?

So, when you put two such lame-duck performers with equally appalling resumes together in a film as the leads, how could anyone expect anything else but the worst possible results? Casting two inert actors in the lead role is only part of the problem though. Completely butchering a tried and true movie formula such as the-woman-who-unexpectedly-falls-in-love-with-a-spy that has been done to death in previous, and much better films such as the Arnold Schwarzenegger spy flick True Lies and Brangelina spy versus spy flick Mr. & Mrs. Smith, is a whole other crime against cinema.

Killers premise isn't bad, and is  about the best thing it has going for it, but nobody, the cast, the writers or the director seems capable of taking advantage of such a lucrative concept. A paid assassin (Kutcher) falls in love with a normal girl (Heigl) and without ever telling her of his true profession, he marries her. Then years later as a married couple, his past comes back to haunt him, while dodging one assassination attempt after another, his secret is eventually discovered by his wife and the rest of the film is them trying to work out their domestic situation whilst fighting off hordes of trained killers. It seems like a recipe for a fun movie, but if you don't have the right people in the right roles, it all comes tumbling down.

The encounters with all the different assassins are presented in a way where its clear the film expects us to be having fun, but sadly it never happens. After a while you just start to become embarrassed for everyone involved, especially a very bored looking Tom Selleck in a total paycheck role as Heigl's father. The two leads are dead on arrival, the premise is shot in the foot with lackluster actions scenes and the ending wraps everything up in an equally uneventful and unbelievable manner. While Killers will never find the audience it wanted to, perhaps film school students can use it to determine how such a catastrophe could occur and discover someway of preventing such an atrocity from ever happening again. Here's a hint; don't ever let either of these two actors work together again...ever.





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